It’s two weeks after my last Herceptin and I wanted to be writing to tell you that everything is different and better. But unfortunately it aint. What has been challenging is an increase in headaches and migraines. In the last week, I had headaches and migraines for five in seven days. Plus a feeling of displacement – out of the hospital system, not sure what the future holds mixed up with a fear of a recurrence. I feel a bit flat. However, I am working on all of that stuff and it is very normal when finishing bc treatment.
I do have good days though and I had a brilliant weekend away. My friends Philippa, Julie and Gill and I went to Hanmer Springs for the weekend. It was a real celebration and I enjoyed every minute of it. Especially the thermal hot pools and Chantellini’s restaurant. Fab! Thanks guys.
I feel a bit behind with things. Lots of tasks that were meant to be done but were shelved when I had a migraine…things I wanted to write, lists of goals and the like. I have achieved some of it but not much really. Then, when I have a non-headache day, I start getting into almost a panic attack trying to catch up with lists of tasks to try and catch up…there seems so much to do but it’s just a spiral in my head.
There are also things to organise. I will be moving house shortly but haven’t found the house yet. And also planning a wee holiday to celebrate the year. So..all of a sudden, I am in organisation mode.
What is going well
- A fab weekend in Hanmer Springs – hot pools, restaurants and good friends.
- An overall plan for the next few months – recovery, moving house, a wee holiday and doing some writing.
- My energy levels are getting better.
- Acupuncture for headaches, migraines and overall wellbeing.
- Chiropractor is helping too with Gareth from Back to Living.
- Mediation and mindfulness CD.
- Art therapy with Mary Brownlow.
- EFT for looking for the cause of the headaches.
- Good friends and family.
- Cycling and walking most days.
- Being able to do nothing when I don’t feel good.
What is challenging
- Fear of recurrence. It’s hard to see that my future will be smooth sailing but I am working on changing those beliefs as they don’t serve me and create anxiety.
- Headaches and migraines – it’s hard to do things when there’s a blimmin headache, especially the ones that don’t respond to any medication.
- Finishing treatment but feeling flat. It would be nice to feel happy that I’ve finished treatment but it doesn’t feel like that. However, time will be the great healer.