This year I had goals to find a great job, finish my book, set up my charitable trust and a few other things. It’s amazing how much of our lives is within our control and how much isn’t. I nearly got two great work roles this year but they didn’t pan out. Instead, I have been doing contracting and spending my spare time working on lots of passion projects such as writing and setting up my Trust.
I was offered a writing retreat in Umbria Italy. At first I thought, I can’t do that. When talking to a few friends, I realised that living in Italy for a few months could be cheaper than my living costs in New Zealand. Also, I didn’t have a long term work contract (if I had a permanent role, I couldn’t have taken three months off). Also, when else would I be offered three months in Italy and have the opportunity to finish my book?
So I decided to go and here I am in Rome. Today I travel to Assisi and will start my new adventure. I am particularly keen to go to Assisi as it is a sacred healing place. There are a couple of festivals on this week and I’m sure it will be amazing. I’m also planning to do a short yoga retreat next week. I’ll keep you posted.
The comfort zone
While travelling here, I had lots of realisations. After finishing cancer treatment two years ago, I feel that I’ve come a long way. I’m feeling healthy and am living and enjoying life. However on the flights over to Rome, I realised that I was completely outside my comfort zone. And even though I have moved on from cancer in lots of ways, I am still living in a comfort zone (ie close to my medical team and all my friends and family). As soon as I started flying solo to Europe, I realised that perhaps I was not fully living life back in New Zealand. Instead I have been living well within my comfort zone. I haven’t pushed myself to get back out in to the world – literally. There is a whole world out there and while I stay at home and sit on my coach, I am not really pushing myself to grow and experience new things.
So my goal now is to break free from beliefs that I’ve gathered up over the last eight years since I had my first cancer. I want to notice the things that are holding me in my comfort zone and to gradually dismantle some of the beliefs that are no longer relevant ie that I can’t do long distance flights as I’ll get too tired and get sick. That I can’t catch a train or bus on my own with a heavy suitcase because my suitcase is too heavy and I’ll get too tired.
I want to get to a point where I do not feel held back cancer. Instead I want to accept the opportunities that life brings without looking over my shoulder with thoughts like “but I’ve got a specialist appointment so I can’t go to Italy”.
I’ll keep you posted on my trip to Italy and what I’m experiencing and learning along the way.
Do any of you who’ve finished bc treatment notice that you are in your comfort zone? Or are you striding towards new life experiences? Please share below.
Ciao x Andrea